Meet the housemate from hell cont.

YES, a new housemate! Most of you would have heard about the horrors of my last cohabitant. Hmm perhaps I’ll write a blog about her later on.

Ok so it’s not entirely true, I have a new housemate, just not the human kind.

Meet Wilber the Hedgehog.

Doesn’t he look adorable.  Before you think anything more. He’s a monster.  Literally. He was a gift from a local friend of mine, sourced from a pet store in Abu Dhabi. Wilber has been with me a whole 48 hours and he is a menace.

The following story comes with a warning.

Last night, I excitably returned home after a normal day in the office.  Wilber being nocturnal was in his cage, doing his quiet/standard “sit in the corner and sulk” pose. Super eager to bond with him I turned on YouTube and watched a “How to Hold Your Pet Hedgehog” clip, opened his cage and scooped him out (with the help of a rather thick t-shirt). Content in my arms, he sniffed and did the standard small pet type motions. He walked over the sofa, got stuck down the side of the cushions and generally tried to hide.

The next thing I pick him up and put him on my lap.  Standard right? Wearing my silky H&M shirt dress he sort of slips in between my legs. You’re going to think that’s where the warning lies.  You’re wrong.

Before I could even realise, Wilber had attached himself to me, BITTEN MY NOON and would not let go. Picture it, something out of a film, a teeny tiny, spikey hedgehog stuck on me, swinging from my crutch.  YES SWINGING.  I yelped, swore, shook and totally freaked. The f*** thing had gone for me and yes, drawn blood and would not get off.  Somehow on the way down from in between my legs it had bitten my left index finger which was also now stinging like hell.

Wilber BABE what happened to bonding?

As you can imagine it was quite traumatic and poor Wilber had thumped to the floor in a spikey ball and retreated under the sofa. There I am hoping the sofa will eat him up mopping my blood from the floor.  Sorry TMI/bit graphic I know.

Moral of the story anyone?

1. don’t keep a hedgehog as a pet?

2. don’t allow small creatures near your nether regions?